Steph Curry’s new name, The Petty King, feels contrived. He is on this post-Finals MVP mission to summon everyone who has ever belittled him. Cool, man, your legacy is as pristine as they come. Why didn’t this persona come out for his long-sought Finals MVP, when you were still vulnerable?
The last person to feel Steph’s wrath is Mike James. He spent four years in the competition, including a year in Golden State, and made headlines this week, leaving Curry out of his top five. He had the audacity to call Curry one-dimensional.
Well, The Petty King got wind of it and responded to a basketball camp.
I know it’s cute or whatever, but unless Kevin Durant learned this behavior from Steph, there’s already a King of Petty, and he’s got the burner accounts to prove it. Not only does Durant respond to the slightest disdain, he comes to children with both barrels full.
There’s a certain level of crap that KD hasn’t put up with since leaning into the social killer life, and his tolerance feels like it’s shortening. Every day he will start harassing people for using OMG and LOL in verbal conversations.
Honestly, if we really want to talk to Petty King, Larry David is the great emperor for eternity. A burner account to anonymously tell trolls responding to your tweets to fuck themselves sounds like a great premise for an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Being small is not a quality you develop. It’s ingrained in your DNA. Not a single tweet, aggregate quote, sideways glance, or alleged insult goes unchallenged.
If Curry wants to call himself petty royalty, or the crown prince of the little ones, or part petty with a high probability of being petty, that’s fine. But little king? I will have to see a lot more than a reference to a G grader after he removes you from his top five.
Curry should have opened the press conference with: “I’ve been at camp for two weeks and I already feel like I’ve been teammates with these kids longer than Mike James.” Or: “Mike was also a one-dimensional player, but his one dimension sucked at basketball.”
If there was a masterclass in Pretty I’m not even sure Curry is a top seven to teach it.
A Lionel Messi bicycle kick you say?
Paris Saint-Germain started their Ligue 1 title defense on Saturday as if they were running unopposed. During a 5-0 thrashing of Clermont Foot, Lionel Messi tried to avoid his boredom by increasing the difficulty.
What does this mean for the title race? If I am infected with Clermont Foot, how do I get rid of it? I have no idea. I just thought it would be fun to watch Messi orchestrate his own bicycle kick.